Most people are familiar with the basic tapping statement but how many people know how to use re frames when they are tapping – or even just in general conversation? I often think of re-frames as a key that you are giving someone to help them release themselves from prison.
(if you are brand new to tapping, CLICK HERE to view and download my free tapping guide)
What is a reframe?
Clik here to view.
Hint: If you get stuck adjust your focus between the white space and the black space.
This is possible to do with language as well as pictures.
For example I once met a parent who was struggling to help her twin girls sleep at night because the shadows on the wall were scaring them, yet they didn’t want to sleep in complete darkness. So I asked the mother to create stories with the shadows at bedtime, to shape her fingers like a bunny rabbit and encourage the girls to do the same. The girls loved it and would make up their own fairy stories from that night on until they were ready to fall asleep. I didn’t even need to tap on the mothers struggle or the girls fear … I just communicated a re-frame, a way to see something in a different way.
‘Words change minds, words heal.’
Having said that re-frames can be done very powerfully when you are tapping with someone else … however it isn’t always as simple as it sounds. So here are a few beginners tips on how to incorporate re-frames into a tapping session
1. Be a great listener, find words, phrases, sentiments, healthy beliefs that are meaningful for the person you are working with.
2. Be neutral and get your ego out of the way by making sure any re-frames always relate to the other persons world rather than your own.
3. Use re-frames where the motivation of releasing the feeling is greater than the pain they are feeling. For example ‘Even though I feel so guilty about my Mum’s death, I felt so helpless when she died and every day I am living with that pain. I am now choosing to release my suffering for the sake of my own children, why would I want them to see a suffering mother as well?’
This last one is very powerful because it asks the person to see how their suffering is creating more suffering in the living. There is a chance that the feeling of guilt would open up in the next round but that can also be re-framed. ‘Even though I am feeling this guilt for my mothers suffering and now I am carrying more guilt about the impact I am having on my children, I am now choosing to utilise my power of responsibility to change rather than remain a victim in guilt.’
Re-frames often require changes in pace and tonality, correct timing of delivery and exceptional listening and communication skills. There are lots more techniques to share, many of which I introduce people to on my tapping courses. The next one is running in Bristol this Summer, for more information, please CLICK HERE and book at the early bird price before May 10th.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Please bear in mind that you can be the best communicator in the world but if you are working with someone who isn’t willing to open their mind to new perceptions or is stuck in their wounds … it is unlikely that your re-framing will do much good. In this case the best thing you can do is give that person the time and space they need to free themselves. Re-framing works best with people who want to see everything, even their own parts in the negative or traumatic stories.
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